I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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