I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my being single is dangerous.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
