With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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