it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
