I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
