Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
