took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
And then my night got REAL pukey
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
