and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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