we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
