I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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