i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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