You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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