billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
