More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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