ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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