I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
