I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
50% drunk capacity currently
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
