I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
