Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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