So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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