After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
