kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Randomize
