i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
