The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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