First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
