come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize