I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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