I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
