You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
