Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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