why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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