dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
