ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
