yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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