you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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