y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Randomize