We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
