I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
