i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
only if we run a train.
done.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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