O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
