I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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