I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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