I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
