Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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