Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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