I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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