No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
