1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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