Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
