ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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