Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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