I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
