margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
