Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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