u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
