i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
