i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
