What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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