so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
