wrigley field is MILF paradise
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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