I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
