Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
