Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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